This Mess I'm In
by CollapseUponImpact
Summary: After telling Nessie exactly what ties them together Jacob is separated from the thing he loves most in this world./Nessie didn't sign up for some supernatural romance, but that's what she's being pulled into. She has to have time for herself. HIATUS.
1. Don't

**a/n...Mrs. Meyer owns all this.  
I'm just playing with it. :D  
Oh, yes and **_**italics**_** indicate a flashback. :D **

I could have walked away that very moment, I should have. I should have turned around and done one of those amazingly dramatic stomping away things the dames do in movies but, I couldn't. His gaze was fixed on me and mine on him. I tucked a piece of bronze hair behind my ear and took my hands from my pocket.

_"Renesmee, quit fidgeting. For a half-vampire you are awfully antsy."  
My mother's voice scolded me for the second time in an hour. The first time had been when I had bitten her. It wasn't a bad bite, just a little nick to show her exactly how much she was ticking me off. I nodded and then glanced around the airport terminal. The clock above read five twenty-six p.m. It would be another five minutes before Jacob's plane even landed. A woman with short black hair pulled her luggage from the metal merry go round and then strutted off followed by a light haired man that had been standing a few feet off. I watched them; she turned and then looked at him for a moment before walking to him. She said something I couldn't make out over the chatter that abounded, it was angry. I knew that. She turned again leaving the poor man stunned and walked off mumbling to herself. My heart pounded in my chest, it had been rapidly beating for the past few hours as I anxiously awaited my best friend's return.  
My mother was the epitome of poise and elegance, sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles, back straight and gaze forward. Her dark brown hair was pulled tightly into a chignon at the base of her neck. Outwardly she was calm, on the inside she was a mess. The only reason I even realized this were the minuscule movements she mad every few seconds to keep her occupied. She thought I didn't notice that she was doing the exact same thing she had just gotten onto me for...but, I did. I'd let her have this win though. It was just one battle in a never ending war between us. That war was one not even Daddy tried to stop anymore. Everyone finally realised after my first birthday that it was better to leave Momma and I to our fighting. We always resolved it, it might take a few days and a few broken mirrors, but we always got better.  
I scratched at my jeans again and then let out a sigh. Sitting in the steel chair I'd been in for an hour was getting old. If I had known the airport was going to be this boring I would've brought my iPod. Mom had said that there were things to do. She didn't lie, there were plenty of things to do. There were shops to visit, cafe's to eat at, and even a game room. She was right about the 'there'll be things to do part.', I was wrong in assuming she'd actually let me do any of those things.  
Five thirty-one. It had been five minutes already. I tugged at Momma's skirt and gestured at the clock. She smiled sweetly and picked up her black and gold accented D & G purse. I held her hand for a moment before pulling away out of excitement. Passengers poured through the terminal, one by one and not one of them was Jacob.  
"Do you think he's happy to be home? I mean...it was Australia after all Mom." My Momma's eyes met mine and she brushed my shoulder with her hand.  
"I am completely sure he's gonna be glad to be home 'Ness. He gets to see you after all doesn't he?" I nodded and then looked back to watch. Just as my eyes focused I saw a black head of hair, as the person came into view I squealed. Jacob was a little tanner then usual -which I never even thought could happen-, his hair was shaggy and unkempt like the last thing on his mind for the last three months had been a haircut. He glanced up and grinned widely. My stomach filled with fireflies, I had waited so long to see him. I had waited three long months to see my best friend again and he was here now, practically running towards me. He ducked beneath the blockade ropes and dropped his bags. I could hear his feet pounding the ground as he ran towards me, finally stopping just to scoop me up into his arms and swing me around. I rested my face in his shoulder taking in a deep breath.  
"I missed you," I muttered against the cloth of his shirt.  
"Na'ah...I missed you more." He replied with a short laugh._

Jacob looked at me with a pained look on his face, "What are you thinking about?" He asked me. I hesitated for a second then I replied,  
"The day you got back from Australia." He smiled, he knew why I was thinking about that day.  
"The day you got your first kiss..." I nodded. My cheeks flared in a blush that I knew even in the dark he could see. I wasn't used to being this nervous around him, at all. Everything seemed so comforting about us. That was all before we got into this mess...this freakishly weird thing. That was before I knew exactly what tied us together, why exactly I've always loved him, and why exactly he's always been mine.

**Jake's POV**

I took two steps toward her and inhaled deeply, the air was perfumed with her smell. It was sweet like vanilla but, still clean and fresh. You could say she smelled like lemon cookies. Inwardly I smiled at the fact. 'Nessie's eyes were stuck on the ground, she barely looked at me, I was starting to believe I shouldn't have said a word at all.

"So, it's never been my choice?" her small voice rang out softly, cutting through the dark night. I shook my head,

"It's always been your choice, you could even choose now. You could choose to walk away; you could choose to leave me at this very moment. I would try to stop you but, if that was really what you wanted I wouldn't keep you from it. I love you way too much to even think about doing that." She looked at me with her deep brown eyes filling with tears. I wanted to tear myself apart that very moment, rip my own heart out and then lay on the ground without a life. I hated hurting her and lately that was all I could do.

"_Jacob, just leave!" her voice raised in anger. I tried to touch her hand but, she pulled away. Her arm was bleeding just a little, where she had fallen after I had told her about Olivia. I should have known she would react this way, but, she didn't understand. Olivia and I went on one date. But, just like always 'Ness didn't let me finish my story before she jumped to conclusions. She got up and began to walk away. _

"_You know, I actually think I hate you now. I never thought it could happen, but, I think I hate you. I thought you were going to Australia to study the marine life. If I'd known you'd gone to study female anatomy I would have done some studying of my own." 'Ness turned on her heel to face me once again, her bronze hair whipped out behind her. _

"_Oh please 'Ness, Edward's not gonna let you near a guy for years. Let alone be alone with one." I knew I had just set off a time bomb but I didn't care. _

"_I'm almost six years old! I look like I'm sixteen for Christ's sake!"_

"_That's the point, you are six. You're his little girl, he wants to protect you." I could see her chest filling with oxygen, apparently tonight the time bomb had a short fuse. _

"_Doesn't anyone get it? I don't need protection! I'm half-vampire for goodness sake's! I can lift a damn car off the ground and I run faster than anyone in the house…other than Dad of course. But, that's beside the point. I don't need to be protected. Ever. No one needs to protect me anymore. Not even you Jake." _

"_Fine then, Ness…you don't need protection right?...I slept with Olivia." Shit…Shit…Shit. I shouldn't have said that…I went too damn far, like I always do. 'Ness stopped breathing for a moment then nodded. _

"_I was right…I do hate you."_

I wanted to hold her in that moment, to apologise for all the pain I had caused her. But, I wouldn't.

"Jake…I don't know if I want this. I love you…but, this…this is all too much. Right now…I need to think. Don't come by for a while, wait for me to come to you. If I come to you, I've made my choice. If not, then I've made the choice that doesn't involve you. But, don't come looking for me. Ever."

**A/n...Slightly suckish I know.  
But the Twi-craze has begun. I hope someone out likes this. :D**


	2. Oahu and News Breaks

**Renesmee's POV**

Two Years Later:

Oahu was beautiful, even at night. Above me the full moon shone down her light hit my skin, and of course I glittered. I laughed slightly; I kind of looked like I had that cheesy shimmer painted on. But, of course mine was natural. My hair was pulled back from my face in a loose bun and my red and black polka dot Hurley swim suit was covered by a black terrycloth cover up. I held a pair of black O'Neill Fuji La Sandals in my left hand.

I stopped and pulled off my cover up. I laid my cover up and flip flops in the sand and walked towards the water. Night swimming, now that was a thing I had never done. My feet touched the water as it drifted up onto the sand; it was cooler than it had been in the daytime. The sand squished beneath my toes and mashed beneath my heels. A small giggle escaped my lips as the water came back up and tickled my feet. I took a step forward and sat down, the water retreated and came back to touch me over and over again. It was nice; it was the nicest thing I had experienced all day. Sure, everything was beautiful in the daytime, but, at night it was so calm, and relaxing.

"You better watch it Hoaloha. The jellies are even fiercer at night," A male voice called from behind me. I stood, a little aggravated I didn't hear him approaching, but, it didn't exactly surprise me because I knew that I was distracted. He was tall, muscular yet slender. His mane of jet black hair shagged down into his eyes thought it was cut shorter in the back. He wore a pair of navy and white board shorts and was bare-chested. I took in a small breath; he was very nice to look at.

"Yeah…umm… I probably should back out of it." I stammered. He smiled crookedly and walked towards me.

"`A`ole, just watch it. You know…if you anything slimy…well, don't touch it." I cocked my eyebrow,

"But, if I felt it…wouldn't I already be touching it?" He laughed.

"I meant watch out for slimy things. I'm not good with words." The man came for more and held out a hand, "I'm Kaleo, welcome to Oahu." I took his hand,

"Renesmee, and thanks…but, I've been here for two weeks." I laughed. Kaleo broke our grip and I wondered what he was thinking. Actually, more importantly I was thanking whoever's upstairs for my control over my power.

"I know…I've seen you around the island." He smiled. Kaleo gestured to the ground and asked, "Wanna sit?"

"Only if you help me watch for jellies." Kaleo and I both laughed.

"I will," We sat and I drug my hands through the sand, "So where are you from?" I glanced up at the black sky, it was dotted with stars. There was something I noticed while I was away from home, the stars always looked dimmer. Except for tonight. I looked over at Kaleo, who was looking me over and replied,

"Washington State. Forks actually. It's a very small town." I bit my lip. Forks was a small town, even smaller to me since most of what I saw was my back yard or La Push. Kaleo nodded,

"I'm from a small village on Moloka'i, so this really isn't my hometown. But, I've been here for three years. I know this place inside and out." He ran a hand through his hand and then laughed.

"What?" I asked a little shocked at his sudden laughter. Kaleo stood and held out his hand again,

"Come on pale face, let's go." I grabbed his hand.

**Jacob's POV**

I hated the fact that neither Edward nor Bella had heard from 'Ness in a few weeks, they weren't even worried. That bothered me more. My palms itched as I waited for Bella to come home from Charlie's.

"Jacob, calm yourself." Emmett said. He was frustrated. I growled at him and stood up readjusting my shorts so that they actually reached my knees. Outside Alice and Jasper were playing tag. Well, sort of. He would tag her, and then she would tag him with a kiss and…so on and so forth. It was disgusting. The sun shone a little on the ground outside, it was just another normal day. I walked to the front door and opened it, walked outside, and plopped down on the front step.

I missed Renesmee; I missed her with all my heart. I missed the way she laughed, the way she played with my hair –not hers- when she was nervous, and I even missed when she bit me. But, I knew that my place was here, waiting for her. As much as I wanted to leave, to search high and low for her, I couldn't.

"She's coming home soon." I heard a voice from behind me. I looked back and saw Bella walking out of the house, Edward stood behind her and then she was out closed the door, leaving just the two of us outside. Bella placed her hand on my shoulder and sat down.

"When?" I didn't have to ask how she knew I was thinking about Renesmee. Bella curled one leg under her and then replied,

"A week, well next Thursday. Her plane from Oahu lands at eleven thirty that morning." I pulled one of my hands into a fist and ground it into the palm of my other hand.

"She's actually coming home…She's gonna be home. God," I rubbed my face, "I can't wait to see her."

"You can't Jake…she doesn't want to see you." My heart dropped out of my chest, "When we talked on the phone…she's just not ready to face you. She's afraid of what might happen. You can't see her, I'm sorry."

**A/n I know this chapter is short and sort of a filler but, I'm sorry. I promise tomorrow's update will be better I swear. :D **


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